Moving Musings

It’s moving week – again – so this shall be rather brief.

As I mentioned in the final post of the “How I Became R. A. Nelson” blog series, a frozen pipes debacle at the turn of the year brought our New England adventure to a sudden end. The past several weeks have involved much crying out as we have sought the next step – the setting for the next chapter in the story.

At last, light has broken through! I am thrilled to share that we will soon be established in our own cozy home, and I can turn my attention even more fully to the business of writing.

Meanwhile, I wanted to take a few moments and share with you some thoughts I’ve been having this week about gratitude.

I realized in the midst of the unfolding blessing of finding a home that I wasn’t spending nearly as much time being thankful for it as I had spent asking for it. In fact, almost as soon as it was in hand, other needs leapt up into its place, clamoring for precedence in my thoughts and sending my emotions whirling on yet another frantic rollercoaster.

And you know what, friends?

That’s dumb.

I want to enjoy the gift I have received – relax into it, float upon it – before I find myself treading water again, trying not to drown in the next “what-if” sea.

I long to learn how to make each gift a stone in my foundation of trust, so that I can stand on that foundation and leap over the next “what-if” sea when it comes.

I think, in order to do that, I need to focus as much energy on rejoicing in the gift as I did in weeping for the lack of it.

May gratitude be the mortar that builds each gift together into a fortress of confident Rest. The Builder has proven faithful, and will continue so to be, no matter how weak my will or my hands.

Amen.

While preparing for the release of my first poetry collection, I have rediscovered several old forgotten gems. Here is one of them that seems to fit this post rather nicely.

Enjoy, and have a good weekend!

Fearful Musings on a Day of Ease

Why do I never find my fear so plain
As when all ’customed causes are removed?
The gift is giv’n: security is proved
Yet louder cries the monster for the chain

And never do the shadows loom so vast
As when the clouds have blithely streamed away
While hands of Time proclaim a golden day
My craven heart doth quaver, overcast

“Cast off the Present!” – Past and Future cry –
“And dwell within our deepening embrace
Of longing or regret, and never face
The gift – the weight – of Now, and Here, and I.”

Why can at peace with peace I never be
But strive its soothing word to circumvent?
In Self’s sad sight, my pain, grandiloquent
Doth scorn release, and seeks from balm to flee

What shall I be, and when, and whither wend
My willing feet, half-charmed by wander-lust?
’Tis work I seek, and rest, and grace to trust
Words spoken over me by loving Friend.

Speak, speak! Oh, speak again, my Friend, and claim
Me for the way in which I’m made to tread
’Gainst bit I strain, yet fain would I be led
By One who sees, and hears, and knows my name

This hidden name, the hope of which has pow’r
To set my whirling dervish world aright
When spoken, all my fears shall put to flight
That Day, called “Soon”, when Light shall have its hour

’Til Then, when every moment shall be Now
Held fast in countless cataracts of Joy
I will, with help, my borrowed breaths deploy
To serve the Why, surrendering the How

May I, of cloudless skies, no portent make
Of flood or drought in wait ’round every turn
Content, may I the ways of wisdom learn
In every gifted day, delight to take