This week’s “Thunderclap” book isn’t actually a book. It’s a play:
I first encountered Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? in high school. All the texts we studied in my Critical Writing class – Animal Farm, The Chosen, Brave New World, Merchant of Venice – impacted me deeply, but Woolf left the deepest mark.
I almost didn’t finish it. We were reading it aloud in class, you see, and the content – both language and subject matter – is incredibly “mature”. It was almost too much for seventeen-year-old Ruth’s sheltered mind and sensitive heart; but, once I had begun, I needed to know how it ended. So, I excused myself from the classroom read-aloud sessions so I could finish it quietly by myself.
I am forever glad I persevered.
I don’t want to give too much away, but here’s a taste of the plot: George and Martha are a middle-aged married couple. George is a college history professor; Martha is the daughter of the college president. One night, after a faculty party, they invite a new professor and his wife, Nick and Honey, over to their house for a drink. The evening quickly devolves into a dark labyrinth of manipulation, deception, and revelation as George and Martha use Nick and Honey as pawns in their ongoing psychological games.
This downward spiral is reflected in the titles of the three acts:
Act 1 – Fun & Games
Act 2 – Walpurgisnacht (a “witches’ Sabbath”, when witches gather to engage in rituals and revels)
Act 3 – The Exorcism
If that sounds dark as all get out . . . you’re not wrong. But, when I finished reading Woolf, darkness was not my primary feeling.
It was hope.
As with Jane Eyre, I remember where I was when I finished Woolf: curled up in my reading chair in my room in Massachusetts, a spot where I finished – and cried over – many a good book. As I sat with George and Martha in the numb wreckage that is the end of the play, watching Sunday morning dawn over their shell-shocked faces, I tasted freedom in the air – freedom, and new beginnings, and the hope of new life, now that the poison of the old had been burned away.
The title of the third act confirmed my interpretation of the play’s events. I even wrote a paper on it. After all “exorcism” is the DEFEAT of a demon, not its triumph. I fervently believed that George and Martha experience an “exorcism” of sorts in the third act – the removal of a secret that had been festering inside their marriage, eating both of them alive from the inside.
Casting it out leaves a terrible void – but what is a void, if not a blank page?
A chance to restart?
Absence meant to be filled with presence?
Of course, one could also fill a void with more – and even darker – darkness. But something about that final scene – about the simplicity and honesty of George and Martha’s sparse, monosyllabic conversation – made me think that they, at least, would not repeat their mistakes. The brutal sacrifices of the night would bear rich fruit for the future.
(For George and Martha, anyway. Nick and Honey . . . I had, and still have, little or no hope for them.)
Fast forward seven years, to when I was entering my final year of graduate school. My fellow MFA candidates and I were eagerly awaiting the assignment of our thesis roles. (To attain a Master of Fine Arts in Acting, you must research, rehearse, and perform a character, and then write a thesis about the process.)
I was both delighted – and alarmed – when I was cast as Honey in Woolf.
This was a special production. The department was partnering with a theatre in Atlanta, so we had a three-week run at a professional theatre in addition to our university theatre performances. Furthermore, two of my professors – with whom I had been working very closely for two years, and both of whom I respected and admired deeply – were cast as George and Martha, with one of my grad colleagues taking the role of Nick.
This show is a beast.
For one thing, it’s long – three and a half hours, with two intermissions. Honey presented her own challenges: she’s drunk before she steps onstage, gets progressively drunker throughout the evening, and spends half the play offstage (supposedly puking in the bathroom). When she is onstage, she’s either making an idiot out of herself, writhing on the floor in emotional agony, or – in the case of the third act – sitting quietly on the sofa, weeping in genuine grief.
What made it all the more difficult, though was the shadow.
As soon as we started rehearsals, I felt a heaviness descend upon me and my castmates. It was like Woolf was a cloud on a mountain, or a fog at sea: the only way to get past it – the only way to tell the story truthfully and rightly – was to go through it. From the first readthru to my final thesis defense, I lived in that cloud for about a year.
It was worth it.
My professors smiled and shook their heads when I shared my interpretation of Woolf. “Of COURSE Ruth would find the silver lining,” they said. I know they thought me naïve to find hope in such murky waters, but . . . that is the root of why Woolf is a “Thunderclap” text for me.
Woolf proved to me that there is always – ALWAYS – hope.
You only have to look for it with eyes willing to see.
I learned that lesson onstage over and over and over, and I will carry it with me – along with my grief for Honey – throughout my whole life.
Sitting on the front stoop of my condo after opening night of Woolf, I wrote this poem. I ended up including it in my thesis and giving framed copies to my castmates and director:
The Shadow
The shadow, the shadow, we wrestle the shadow
Reaching again for hope’s first, faintest gleam
Shoulder the burden, suffer its sweetness
Finding yourself in another man’s dream
The shadow, the shadow, we cling to the shadow
Forgetting the moment when love was a choice
Savor the warmth of the weight now descending
Finding myself as another heart’s voice
The shadow, the shadow, we carry the shadow
Breaking each moment, but learning to bend
Dance on the gravestone, sing to the sunrise
Finding our birth in another soul’s end
Oh, Ruth, May you forever find HOPE no matter the circumstances!
Yes! Yes! Yes!!! You have found hope where I could barely glimpse it . . . but in your finding and sharing you make it more clear to me. Thank you!!