Doc’s blog continues! Enjoy. 🙂
Um, So . . .Â
The World According to Doc
CHAPTER 3: The Owtside
Um, so . . . hi. I am Doc. I want to tell you abowt runs and walks. So, reely, I want to talk abowt The Owtside.
The ferst thing you need to noe is that THE OWTSIDE IS A MAJIKAL PLACE.Â
That is reely all you need to noe to underrstand runs and walks, but I will tell you more anee-way. My Mommy noes that The Owtside is a majikal place, but she dussn’t underrstand runs and walks. So maybee you need help underrstanding, too.
Um, so . . . I have a verry important job. I am a king.
I am the king of all the places I see in The Owtside.
I am verry gud at my job. I snif ev-ree-thing ev-ree time I go to The Owtside, so I all-ways noe what is going on.Â
But it is a hard job. Sum-times other dogs think they are the king. They pee on all of MY places in The Owtside. So I have to pee on all of the places a-gehn and a-gehn, ev-ree day, so ev-ree-one will noe I am the king. I also have to poop on sum places.
It is a lot of werk. That is why I need to sleep so much.
But bee-ing a king is not the only ree-sun I luv The Owtside. I will say it a-gehn:
THE OWTSIDE IS A MAJIKAL PLACE.Â
Heer’s the thing: ev-ree thing smells AMAYZING. It’s like a sm- . . . a smorg- . . . a SMORG-US-BORD of deelites. (I noe sum big werds. I am verry smart.) Sum-times I am so bisee snif-ing that I forget to pee. I wud snif and snif and snif ee-ven if it wusn’t part of my king job.
That is what Mommy and Daddy don’t underrstand. They keep saying we go to The Owtside to x-er-size and pee and poop. They tell me we cannot keep stopping to snif.
I think there noses don’t werk rite.
I feel verry sorry for my Mommy and Daddy. They are missing the smorg-us-bord of deelites.Â
I am also wurr-eed about them. I think they think too much abowt my poop. THEY never poop when we go to The Owtside, but they get sad if I don’t poop. And when I poop, they do not leeve the poop in the place I pickt owt so care-full-ee to sho the other dogs that I am the king. They put my king-poop in littel bags and take it home.
How will all the otherr dogs noe I am king if all of my places in The Owtside don’t have my poop?
Mommy and Daddy do NOT underrstand The Owtside.
I luv them anee-way.
I luv you, too. I hope you can go to The Owtside today. Don’t wurry abowt pee-ing or poop-ing. I am the king, so I will do that for you. Just take sum time to snif things. Enjoy the smorg-us-bord of deelites.
You will feel bet-er, becuz . . .
. . . THE OWTSIDE IS A MAJIKAL PLACE.
Bye for now.
I agree, Doc, the outside is a magical place!
Yes Doc, you are verry smart! The Owtside is a majkal place!!
Dee-lite-full!!!
My cat is the emperor of the meowside, but very cautious….practices tree climbing as social distancing.
Trees are tall. Your cat is verry brave! Luv, DOC