Cats are a difficult subject for Doc, but he thought it important to try.

Um, So . . . 

DOC

The World According to Doc
CHAPTER 4: CATS

Um, so . . . hi. My name is Doc. Today I want to talk abowt one of the grate miss-ter-eez of the wurld.

I want to talk abowt CATS.
Doc cats think
This is my thinking face.
Cats are a miss-ter-ee. I do not underrstand them.

I think they like sum of the same things I do, like sleep. Cats are verry gud sleepers. But I do not think they like runs and walks. They just sit and stare owt the winn-doe – stare and stare and stare.

I like to stare owt the winn-doe, but that is part of my king-job. (Did I tell you I am a king? It is tru. I am a verry important king.)

I do not think cats underrstand that The Owtside is a majikal place.
doc the owtside 1 cats
I do not even underrstand how I feel abowt cats.

Sum-times I like them. Sum cats are verry nice. It can be verry peese-full to spend time with a cat-frehnd, es- – espesh- espechully if it is nap time.

But sum-times . . . sum-times, I do NOT like cats. Sum-times, wen I see a cat, I “looz my everr-luvving mind”. (That is wut Mommy and Daddy say. I do not noe wut it meens.) 

That is becuz sum cats are NOT cats. Not reely.

SUM CATS ARE EEVIL DEE-MUNS HOO WANT TO EET OWR FACES.

doc cats bee-ing scared
This is my scared face.

Wen I see one of THOSE cats, I try to warrn my Mommy and Daddy. I do NOT want the eevil dee-mun to eet there faces. It’s part of my king-job to gard all of owr faces frum eevil dee-muns.

(Um, so . . . I do not think I have told you this be-forr, but . . . I am a king. I am a verry important king.)

((Sorry I did not tell you be-forr; Mommy and Daddy say I have a verry shorrt shorrt-terrm memmorree, wutever THAT meens.))

Mommy and Daddy do NOT underrstand. They tell me to be nice to cats. 

How can I ex-plane to them that I am VERRY nice to cats, but it is my king-job to eet the faces off eevil dee-muns be-forr they eet OWR faces????

doc cats sad face bee-ing scared

My Mommy and Daddy keep telling me to try. They say I shud be nice to ALL cats – eeven the ones that seem like eevil dee-muns. They want me to giv everee cat a chans. 

“Maybee it’s not an eevil dee-mun,” they say. “Don’t be afrade. Luk forr the nice bits – the things you like abowt cats.”

Maybee they are rite. They are verry smart sum-times.
Maybee I shud try to nice to ALL cats.

Maybee we shud ALL try to luk forr the nice bits in everee cat we meet.

We shud def- deffun- def-fun-nut-lee NOT be afrade.

I will try. I hope you can, too. 

Advent Peace Doc cats
I try to be redd-ee all of the times, tho.
(But iff you doo find a cat that is reely an eevil dee-mun . . . do nott wurry. Let me noe. I will eet its face. I am a king. It is my job.)

((Um, so . . . did I tell you I am a king?))

Luv,
Doc Hamilton Nelson

One thought on ““Um, So . . .”: The World According to Doc – Chapter 4 (CATS)

  1. Jonda says:

    Too cute!!

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